Dear all
Due to our grand renovating project, which we underestimated big time;
due to being a full time employee/mom/lover/sister/daughter/friend;
and due to our second little munchkin growing inside of me…
This little lady feels tired 🙂
So for now, I will be off the WordPress radar and concentrating on handling all the rest.
But don’t you stop spreading all that positivity, ok!
Love,
F.
“Be the change you want to see in the world”
Ghandi
“What people think about you is none of your business”
Paulo Coelho (on Twitter)
Hey, what’s your New Year’s resolution? Quitting an unhealthy habit, like smoking?
Well. Good luck!
If you are very disciplined, you will succeed. Probably with some blood, sweat and tears…
But most of our resolutions don’t make it to February. And that’s because we are trying to eliminate an effect in stead of a cause.
Yes. Whatever it is that we do too much; smoking, drinking, eating, shopping, gambling and so on, we do it to compensate for something we’re lacking in our life.
Whether we are actually missing something, or whether we live in the illusion that we do, both reasons are equally real.
How about not forcing yourself into new habits, but attacking the cause.
No more cause = no more effect.
In order to do that, you first have to love and respect yourself a whole lot more.
I propose this resolution for 2013… TO BE YOURSELF
And should you be afraid of what others might think, then remember that you can never please everyone. What’s good for one person, isn’t for another.
So do yourself a big favor and be true to yourself!
I wish you a magnificent year!
Dearest Mother Earth,
I’ve known for quite some time now, that you are ill.
And I finally found the courage to write to you.
I’m sorry it took me so long.
I was in denial. Didn’t want to admit, that I am contributing to your sickness.
Today, I want to tell you that I have changed.
You see, before, I didn’t really notice you. But I see you now. Everywhere.
Unfortunately, we build so many buildings and roads over you, that your beauty is hidden.
And that’s a shame, because you’re the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on!
To repent myself, I’m being extra careful in sorting my waste and I NEVER throw stuff on the ground. Sometimes I even throw away garbage others left behind. I don’t mind. Really.
I mostly eat bio, take my own bags when I go shopping and drive more calmly to save fuel.
Also, I pray that men will grow bigger dicks.
Maybe they will no longer feel the need to compensate by driving fast cars.
I realize it’s not much. And a completely eco friendly system seems so far away.
We are damaging you at record speed. It must be exhausting to have to heal non stop…
Oh how I wish that I could do more to take away your pain.
Know that I’m working towards it. And please forgive me for the trouble I’ve caused.
I hope you will start to get better soon.
Be strong.
Truly yours,
Femke
I get the feeling, that a lot of people, think that the word apocalypse means:
TOTAL DESTRUCTION OF THE PLANET EARTH!
But we don’t need any apocalypse to destroy our planet. We can do that all by ourselves 🙂
That’s not my point. This is:
Did you know, that the word apocalypse, actually means REVELATION?
I believe, that we already are in the apocalypse. Because I think it takes place in our hearts.
Capitalism, wars, drugs, illness… Too many people suffering. Are we not in a crisis?
So selfish, so greedy, so needy. So far from being our own selves.
December 21st, 2012… The end of the world (as we know it). Yes yes.
However, I don’t believe this will happen overnight. So please don’t commit suicide!
No. We are slowly moving from one era to another. From the age of Pisces to Aquarius.
The universe is programmed to function this way.
All around me, I notice that people no longer want to work until they’re rich/famous.
People want comfort instead. People want free time.
Time to do whatever they feel like (without feeling guilty about it). Time to take long walks. Time to grow their own vegetables. Time to read. Time to watch the children play…
Time to be, in stead of time to do.
Ah, the apocalypse. I love it!
A new era stands at our door. Let’s not be afraid to let it in. It brings us joy and happiness. But we do need a good crisis to be able to move forward.
2013 will be the beginning of a new awareness… A new dimension.
The true meaning of life, is slowly being revealed to us. One by one, we discover our true nature and needs. Heaven on earth!
And we all have the tremendous honor, of experiencing it from the first row 🙂
The law of attraction, dear people, is veeery powerful in your every day life.
It is the key to your ultimate happiness… or to your demise.
This law states, that similar energies attract each other.
That you get, what you believe you’ll get.
Some people think they always have bad luck.
“If there’s dog shit on the sidewalk, I’ll step in it for sure.” Well yes, you probably will.
And again and again and again. Until you decide not to anymore.
We are constantly sending out thoughts. Creating things without even knowing it.
And our ego, is most likely the one to blame for screwing up our plans.
“Yes you can – No you can’t – Give it a try – Why bother, you suck…”
Please believe me when I say, that you’re capable of achieving anything you desire.
It’s important that you understand this law. And the consequences of (not) respecting it.
Keep your thoughts focused on what you want. Never on what you don’t want.
Example: If you have a job interview, don’t think you probably won’t get the job.
On the contrary, act as if you already have it. Fantasize about it, don’t be shy.
You’ll multiply your chances of getting it.
To do
* Observe your thoughts. And alter all of the negative ones as they come along.
* Create your future. Visualize it. You will naturally attract all kinds of opportunities.
Have fun!
“Whether you think you can or can’t, either way you are right.”
Henry Ford
“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”
Confucius
Having a hard time accepting life’s every day events? Then try this.
Life as a video game: An instant smile.
When small things bother me, like when I’m in bed and have to get back up because I forgot my phone = alarm clock, in the living room, I imagine my life is like a video game.
Hop out, through the door, hallway at record speed, grab the phone and rush back again.
I credit myself with bonus points, if I succeed in doing my job using one breath only 🙂
Life as a holiday: Not wasting moments.
If I’m in a bad mood and can’t seem to pop out of it, I imagine my life is like a holiday.
And when you’re on a holiday, you want to fully experience every minute of it.
Because later, back home, you want to enjoy those precious memories over and over again.
So I look around and spot beauty. It’s everywhere. Take the sky, never the same… My #1!
Life as a school year: Being eager to learn.
When I’m confronted with my biggest flaws. Which, for me, are anger, nervosity, a lack of discipline and limited patience, I remember life is like a school year. And that we’re here to learn some very valuable lessons. After the final exam, either you’ve passed, or you didn’t.
Not graduating is not a disaster. But you’ll have to do it all over again next September. 🙂
Yes, a little imagination won’t hurt.
Because what’s the use of living, if you don’t enjoy the dance of life…
Your choice whether you want to be an average, a good, or a great dancer.
Practice makes perfect.
“If you’re trapped in the dream of the other, you’re fucked.”
Gilles Deleuze
You know what’s weird? That we often try to have some control over our partner’s life.
“Don’t drink so much!”
“Whaaat, you ate a whole bag of crisps?!”
“Don’t come home late, you need your sleep.”
“Who was that on the phone?”
“A holiday without me? You must be joking.”
Been there, done that. Was a mistake.
But why do we make up rules? Are we afraid our partners will have fun without us?
Whatever the reason, one thing is for sure: They’re not having fun with us either.
So, for the sake of happiness; live on the light side of life!
“Ok, honey, if you feel like drinking until you vomit, then you do so. I’ll help you clean up.”
“You want to start collecting celebrity hair, my love? Go for it and pluck those stars bald.”
“Oh, you would like to become a taxidermist. How interesting, sweetheart… “
Anyway, what you don’t want, is for your husband to say on his death bed: “Oh, yes, my life was… hum… ok. Although, I regret that my wife didn’t allow me to leave the house.” Autsch.
No no. Always remember, that we all have our own life journey. And every path is unique.
You can decide what you want for your life, but you shouldn’t tell the other how to live his.
It’s just not fair. It’s kind of denying the other the freedom of expressing himself.
Sooner or later you’ll pay the price…
So say “Yes, you can!” 🙂
PS: It goes both ways. No one should tell you what (not) to do. One can only ask kindly…
Take a deep breath… and relaaaaax.
Yeah right.
When we want to fall asleep, 10 deep breaths are supposed to do the trick.
But personally, by the time I’m at 4, I’m already making tomorrow’s grocery list 🙂
Until now! My yoga teacher showed me how to do it right.
As you inhale, you pull in the air through your pelvis. It moves up to your belly, then to your stomach and it fills your lungs. When you feel like you’re about to pop, you take it one step further and let the air reach your shoulders. Uhuh. Your shoulders. Yes.
As you exhale, you have two choices. (Both are equally effective, it’s a personal choice)
Either you let the air leave your body the opposite way it came in.
Or, you first let the air out of your belly. Then shoulders, lungs, stomach and pelvis.
At first I did this quite mechanically. I focussed on each body part separately. Not good.
In stead of dozing off, my brain was totally on top of it. “You, stomach, chop-chop!”
But then it happened… I accidentally let go of my focus. It became a natural movement.
Pelvis, belly, stomach, lungs, shoulders, lungs, stomach, belly, pelvis.
Like the air being pulled in and pushed out of a bellows. No interruptions.
And it was awesome! I was stoned out of my mind! (Never happened before, kids)
So I tried very hard not to fall asleep 🙂
But I did. I did!
“If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian”
Paul McCartney
I’m not a vegetarian (yet). But I try to avoid eating meat.
And I’m glad to discover there’s a whole new delicious world out there!
I propose one veggie meal a week. One small step for a man = a giant leap for mankind.
The production of vegetables needs a lot less fossil fuel and water and, it saves a lot of the earth’s precious topsoil and forrests. If we use more fertile lands for plant food instead of cattle, there would be a lot less hunger in the world… So, after all, you CAN help. Easily.
Also, meat lacks carbs and vitamins. Plus, the excess protein can give you heart disease and liver problems. Not to mention the weight you gain. FAT. Not only muscle, guys.
Plant food on the contrairy, provides you with every necessary nutrient. That is, if you eat more than carrots and carrots only. Be a bit creative. Eating veggies is not a punishment 🙂
Oh yes, plants don’t contain cholesterol. A naturally long healthy life awaits you. Who’s in?
And think of all the agricultural chemicals. Pesticides, herbicides… The “icides” alone. Brr.
Livestock is exposed to drugs, are a host to all sorts of bacteria and virusses, worms and parasites. Not to mention the leftover blood and urine. Extra flavor to our hamburgers 🙂
And I can go on if you like (stop reading if you don’t :))
* Vegetables cost less. Not only in the store, but also in medical bills throughout your life.
* Animals live and feel. Like us. What gives us the right to kill them? I really don’t know.
* All of the CO² farting cows on this planet, are bad news for global warming.
* Did you notice we have hands, feet, teeth and even the intestins of a herbivore?
* And the occasional diarrhea and/or vomiting… Ever get sick from a bad brocoli? 🙂
So we have a deal? Going once, twice… Once a week it is!
PS: Should you visit Brighton on Sea (UK)… http://www.terreaterre.co.uk/
Love it love it love it. Definitely a road trip tip!
Inspiration: My sweet Lieselotte who always watches over my health.
Physical and mental 🙂 Love you girlie…
Meditation is good. It reduces stress and anxiety. And it improves your night’s rest.
Meditation is hard. Personally, I find it very difficult to clear my head from any thought.
Luckily…
Meditation is personal. If you can’t empty your mind, fill it. Create your own special place.
Mine is a room. It floats in space. Around it, I see only darkness and stars.
Inside the room, in a corner, I’ve put a big vase for fresh flowers. (Which is still empty)
On the wall, I hung The Kiss from Klimt. The original of course 🙂
The floor is made of a beautifully colored mosaic mandala. Blue, purple, white, gold…
It represents a lush tree with strong branches and lots of birds in it.
The room is a bit empty, I know. But I just moved in. I still have to decorate it properly 🙂
My room has two opposite doors.
The 1st door opens towards the outside. Through it, I let go of things, people or situations.
I picture what I no longer want in my life, embrace it and release it into space.
The 2nd door opens towards the inside. Through it, I welcome newness.
A new thing, person or situation comes in, together with a beautiful bright white light.
I like my room. It feels safe and warm and only I have access to it.
Besides, my Klimt can’t get stolen 🙂
Do you believe we are the way we are? I don’t.
I believe we can overcome our flaws. Even without the help of a shrink.
We condition ourselves to behave in certain ways.
But underneath all those layers, we are the most perfect beings.
I saw an interesting documentary on the matter. This is sort of what I remember.
Every action creates an electric spark in our brain. It goes from one point to another.
The two points being connected by this spark, are different for each type of behavior.
Gossiping has a different path from lying, crying or laughing.
The more often a spark goes from one point to another, the easier it gets to its destination.
And once it travels really really fast, it causes a chemical reaction in our brain:
The release of dopamine. The Feel Good drug.
Conclusion: Without realizing it, we all are addicted to certain behaviors.
Take the gossipers. They hang around your desk, waiting for your green light to gossip.
In need of their daily dose of dopamine, they go from desk to desk until they’ve got it.
So whatever it is you do, that you’re not proud of; put yourself in Quarantine.
For 40 days you force yourself to act differently.
You replace gossiping by understanding. Or tears by laughter.
Candy by fruit.
Pessimism by optimism.
Selfishness by altruism.
Cigarettes by chewing gum.
Fear by trust.
For support, you can keep a calendar and write down a score for each day.
You’ll quickly get addicted to the better choices.
But take it slow, there’s no rush.
When you build a house, you need a strong foundation.
Not some little shed that comes crumbling down at the first autumn breeze.
As for me, right now, I’m at day 5 without alcohol… Only 35 to go and I’ll be reborn 🙂
I hereby propose a new rule for hospitals worldwide:
If you aren’t on the blood donor list… You ain’t getting any!
Let me tell you why.
Recently, I subscribed online to the blood donation program of the Red Cross.
A short time later, they called me up to invite me to a donation close to my home.
This Saturday, I got a second phone call. If I still wanted to donate blood? Of course I did.
The reaction was one of relief: “Oooh you remember! That’s wonderful…” Huh?
So yesterday evening, I went up there to present myself and my tiny little veins.
And I realized what an effort it had taken them to move all the equipment in there.
They also had a bar, a cosy corner and trays filled with cookies.
They even had comic books. Just in case you got bored during the 12 minute wait.
About 10 people from the Red Cross were present. They actually outnumbered the donors.
If they try to please us so much, I guess they really need our blood.
Something tells me they’re not in it for the money…
Seated in their comfy lounge chair, out came the needle… And oh man! It was huge!But being afraid of one little sting, doesn’t add up to being scared of dying by blood loss.
So I turned my head away and held my breath. Like all heroes do 🙂 And in it went.
Talking to the male (hihi) nurse, I found out that only 55 people subscribed to yesterday’s donation. I asked myself where the other 23.159 residents of that municipality were…
Apparently, in my country, 1% of the people donates. While 70% need a donation at least once in their life. That and the fact that blood can only be kept “fresh” for a short while, made me feel quite ashamed of myself for not having thought of it earlier.
Giving blood is so easy. It takes no effort at all. It only costs you some of your free time.
And in exchange, you might save a life! Imagine that!
Plus, you get free pastry and drinks afterwards. Beer included, for those who like feeling even dizzier 🙂
I hope that every single person who reads this, will donate from now on.
Helping anonymous, is helping yourself, your child or any other beloved one.
You could make an evening out of it with friends and family. Can be a whole lot of fun!
Who faints first 🙂
Please share this message and spread the word wherever you go.
Let those good samaritans, who spend their days and evenings on this good cause,
use their marketing budget on something better than pleading for donors.
Those who will be in need of an urgent transfusion, thank you very much.
Imagine this…
You are flying to Cape Town. Once seated in the plane, you are welcomed with…
“On behalf of our captain, Wonder Woman, Superman, myself Prince Charming, Fiona
& the Jellytot Monster in the back, I welcome you aboard.
We are pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight.
To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle and pull the belt thight.
It works just like every other seatbelt; and if you don’t know how to operate one by now, then you probably shouldn’t be allowed out in public unsupervised.
Also note that you could be fined up to R7999 for smoking on the plane.
And for these prices you could be flying South African Airlines.
Now, please pay attention to the safety announcement; you will be writing a test shortly.
There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.
In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling.
Stop screaming, grab the mask and pull it over your face.
If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. Are you travelling with more than one small child, then pick your favorite.”
Up in the air you hear…
“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”
And after a bumpy landing…
“Whoa, big fella. WHOA… Ladies and gentlemen, after that smooth landing, we’d like to welcome you to Cape Town. If this isn’t where you want to be then you have some serious issues and I guess we’ll see you sooner than we thought.
We ask you to remain seated with your seatbelts fastened while the captain taxies what’s left of our plane to the gate.”
Finally, to end in style…
“Please check the overhead storage, the seat pocket in front of you as well as your neighbour’s bag for all of your nice goodies.
If you decide to leave something behind, make sure it’s something shiny that we can use or sell on our next flight – no children, spouses, or in-laws allowed.
Well ladies and gentlemen, my wonderful team and I, would like to say thank you for flying with us today. We hope to see you again.
Thank you, be good to yourself and those around you and enjoy the rest of your weekend.”
Wonderful isn’t it! If you visit South Africa (and you should), don’t miss out on Kulula.
And if you are starting up your own company: Think about adding some humor to it.
It will make this world a lot funnier to live in!
Or to fly over. We certainly had a blast!
PS: I din’t get paid for this, I’m just a huge fan 🙂
Happy World Peace Day!
“How people treat you, is their karma. How you react is yours.”
Wayne Dyer
Karma is the law of action and reaction. Of cause and effect.
Everything we do, say and even think, creates karma. Good and bad.
A long long time ago, there was no such thing as karma. We created it by doing harm.
You see, the desire to become master, created the slaves.
Right now, we are so very much buried in bad karma, that too many people suffer.
We can free the world from karma by “neutralizing” it. The good vs. the bad…
And each and every one of us, should put this objective on the top of his list.
Because no more karma, means… WORLD PEACE BABY… YEAH!
So here’s your daily to do list.
Be a good person. In your actions and your thoughts.
Stop judging. Stop blaming others for your failures. Stop being jealous. Stop getting mad when people insult you. Stop killing insects… Just be honest, kind, forgiving…
This way you create a chain reaction of good deeds and thoughts. Because the others will feel ridiculous for not being as tolerant as you are 🙂
Make the right choices.
Ask yourself what the consequence of your choice will be. If you and your surroundings get better from it, then it’s a good one.
Hesitating between two good choices? Then listen to your body. You will physically feel happier when you’re thinking of the best choice.
By the way, how you decide to react to something or someone, is also a choice.
Why bother you ask? Well, during your lives, your personal karma sticks with you.
The universe’s accounting system is flawless. Not a single karmic dept will be left unpaid…
World peace baby… Keep it in mind when you’re having a shitty day 🙂
Once upon a time…
In a kingdom (not that) far from from here.
A princess was gracefully riding her big white horse.
The horse was supposed to drop her off at work, but suddenly halted in front of a pub.
Without saying a word, he kicked the princess off and went inside.
The princess stood there in disbelief. What had just happened?!
She bravely entered the bar and saw the darned horse emptying one beer after another.
It was very clear that he didn’t plan on moving his ass from that bar stool.
The poor little princess had no other choice than to walk to work. All by herself… 😦
And then she woke up, a little bit confused.
So she analyzed the dream.
Her unconsciousness was telling her that she was smothering her prince.
Deep down inside she knew it was true. Because she always told him what to do.
The dream tried to warn her, that one day her prince too, would tell her to get lost.
From that point on, she gave him some space. And learned to love him just the way he was.
They bought a palace, made lots of princes and princesses and lived happily ever after.
The end.
When you feel a bit blue and don’t know why, your dreams help you to understand.
The website the princess uses to decipher them, is this one: www.dreammoods.com
Or so I’ve heard 🙂
Have you been hoping for a better life?
Would you want to be happier with who you are?
Then go for it!
You are the master of you. The only person responsible for your happiness.
I use a little ritual that I would like to share with you. It changed my life.
Every night, before going to sleep, I do 3 things.
1. I sum up what I have been grateful for during that day.
A breathtakingly beautiful sky or a bright colored flower.
My son’s little jokes and my husbands loving hugs.
A great conversation with a friend or a colleague.
My house, my home. My car, my independance.
The fresh fruit juice I made and drank with a straw. (The straw changes everything :))
…
2. I sum up what I would like to achieve tomorrow. Not the day after. Not in two weeks. Tomorrow.
To wake up with a lot of energy and to feel the joy of a new day starting.
To not be annoyed by people but to help out wherever I can.
To have inspiration for a new post on this blog.
To be able to take an hour of me-time and pamper myself.
To read for half an hour about a subject that interests me.
…
3. I close my eyes and imagine a typical day of my life one year from now.
Not telling, my little secret 🙂
But as for visualising your future: The sky is the limit, anything goes. Dare to dream!
Letting yourself step out of your comfort zone, might open some new doors for you.
Every day you become more aware of the opportunities to fulfill that dream of yours.
Of course, be realistic, to fantasize about becoming a popstar if you can’t hold a note…
Well, good luck to you 🙂
The great thing about this little ritual is that it allows you to
1. Realize what you already have (sometimes we forget)
2. Determine what you can achieve in short term
3. Know the objectives you work towards
Every evening, I create my future. One step at a time.
Because we don’t jump up the stairs, do we. We take the steps.
So dear people, no more whining, just go create!
No one will do it for you…
Dear sir
I hereby would like to sincerely apologize, for having ignored your questions today.
I must say that I’m not proud of myself. And I will try to be nicer the next time.
This being said, I would also like to take a moment to help you with your search.
If I understood correctly, you are looking for someone to fuck.
Allow me to point out, that shouting at a random girl, might not be a good way to handle it.
Women kind of need foreplay, you see.
I advise you to try eye contact the next time. And some small talk, before asking the girl on a proper date. A nice restaurant. Maybe a movie.
It takes some effort, but I’m sure you’ll multiply your chances of getting lucky very fast.
On the other hand, if you already know that women need some warming up, this becomes a whole other story. In that case I think you should find out why you enjoy being impolite.
Is it because your mother and sister hit you repeatedly, which made you hate all women? Or do you just have a teeny-tiny little weiner?
Whatever the issue may be, I truly hope you understand what your problem is.
Because I sure don’t.
Any which way, I wish you a good day and a quick lay.
Kind regards,
Femke
I’m sure lots of our bosses jump for joy, at the idea of the upcoming mid-year evaluations.
Having to tell your co-workers what they suck at. And doing it in a way that they thank you for it… What a burden.
If you feel like helping out your boss, you can always ask for feedback. A lot less hard for both parties. You expect to get it. And he doesn’t have to break out in sweats.
Unfortunately, sometimes you’re just not aware of the things you can improve…
That is the case, if, for instance, you stink.
This post is for all bosses, who bang their heads against the wall after having made you cry. Here’s a possible tactic for giving awkward feedback.
1. Prepare the receiver
2. Spill it out
3. Explain the consequences
4. Propose a solution
5. Demonstrate the “what’s in it for you”
For example:
1. I’d like to talk to you about something rather embarrassing. Don’t take it personally.
2. Now and then, it happens you have a strong body odour. Especially in the morning.
3. The thing is, that whenever I smell it, I just want to quit my job and run far far away.
4. Do you think it’s possible to mind your personal hygiene and undertake some action?
5. It would be nice for you if people stopped calling you stinky behind your back…
LOL
No. Not a very good example. I agree.
Should a colleague smell bad, I’d prefer to slip him or her an anonymous note 🙂
But I wasn’t joking about the 5 steps. Give it a try.
You’ll see that giving feedback can generate very positive results!
Inspiration: Jack Zenger – www.forbes.com (Tis Better to Receive Than to Give)
I like Jesus.
It doesn’t matter if I believe in God or not.
Jesus, I believe in. Because he did exist. (There is proof :))
In the early 30’s, he was getting pretty famous because of his awesome tricks.
On a certain day, a large crowd was hangin’ around him. Asking for his attention.
So he and his Birkenstocks climbed up a mountain and sat down to teach the people.
And this is my interpretation of his famous “Sermon on the Mount”.
Which, in short, says: “Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want them to do to you…”
Reconciling
If you are angry with someone, or someone is angry with you. Talk about it.
Not necessarily to become friends, but to forgive each other and maybe learn something.
Being faithfull
Adultery is a nasty habit that some people have.
If you care for your partner, then why would you even take the risk of hurting that person? The thought alone of breaking your lover’s heart, should be enough to keep you from straying.
No divorcing
Ok, I admit. 2000 years ago things were slightly different.
But today, if the whole class flunks an exam, the university also adapts the requirements to pass, right. So look at it this way: If, before you get married, you feel the urge to not tell the truth and nothing but the truth to your spouse to be. Then just don’t get married.
Swearing oaths
Don’t swear. A simple yes will do.
Some people swear on the heads of their children. You’d better not. Just in case someone takes it literally. Want to prove something? Then do as you promised.
Taking vengeance
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth… What kind of an idiot invented that one?!
If you take revenge, you’re not an inch better than the other guy.
Jesus said: “If anyone wants to take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.”
Thát is “being the bigger person”.
Loving ennemies
If people annoy you in any way. Instead of hating and cursing them, send them some love.
For instance, when a reckless driver almost pushes me off the road, I swallow my anger and say: “Bless him. And teach him to drive safely please.”
I immediately feel calm again.
Giving to the needy
Help wherever you can. But don’t show off.
It’s so uncool to help a handicapped person cross the street and then shout it out. If you do, that means you’re expecting something in return: A tap on the shoulder.
A truly selfless person keeps his good deeds to himself.
Praying
Praying is beautiful. It’s like spreading good intentions.
Do it whenever you have questions or you would like to get some help. No need for a protocol, just talking is fine. When you pray you get to know your most inner thoughts. You get to know yourself a lot better. And solutions to your worries will present themselves.
Fasting
If you can handle it, go for it. Because fasting now and then, is good.
You purify your body and empty your mind. Which leaves a lot of room for your soul. You’ll get insights about your present life and possible future.
Treasure hunting
Don’t put all your effort in gaining material wealth. Because those things you can lose.
And when you die, you’ll not be able to carry them with you.
But your inner wisdom is safely stored inside you. The most beautiful treasures of life, are always yours to keep.
Worrying
Do not worry about tomorrow. Because tomorrow is still being created today.
Do not worry about things you can’t change. Because that’s just a waste of energy.
Do not worry about material issues. Because those are not even issues.
Judging
You are in no position to judge anyone.
In this life, even if you think you know it all, you don’t. No one does.
You don’t know what the other’s been through. So respect your differences.
I can’t deny it. I like Jesus. If he were on facebook, I’d ask him to be my friend 🙂
Should you hesitate whether to like him or not, here’s my final argument:
The guy loved us so much, that he even died for us and got back up again!
Kind of like Kenny. Only way cooler 🙂
Inspiration: The book. With many thanks to Nathan for having shared it with me.
We carry around an invisible bucket.
Picture it somewhere in a little room inside of you.
The drops that fall into it, are your emotions.
You mostly keep the door to the room closed. To avoid seeing the mess in there.
But the frickin’ bucket still is there. And you know it!
Either you empty it from time to time. Or… You fix the holes in the ceiling.
It’s very high, that ceiling. Not an easy one to reach.
However, where there’s a will, there’s a way… Here’s how I “clean up”:
1. I Observe my emotions.
Every time I feel sad, angry, scared, impatient et cetera. I start by being aware of it.
In stead of telling myself “I’m angry” I say: “Ha. I realize, I felt angry just now.”
This way, I’m able to take some distance from my emotions. I treat them like things I find interesting to observe.
2. I ask myself why I feel that way.
Is it because of what a person said? Or because I saw something that displeased me? Or did it bring back an old and painful memory?
There are many possible reasons. And I often come to the conclusion that it’s excess bagage. Or related to something that only exists in my own twisted little mind.
3. I give a special treatment to my most common emotions.
When I first did this exercise, I found out I felt guilty about 7 times a day. How exhausting!
So one day, home alone, I sat down on our terrace and started to sum up all the reasons why I had already felt guilty in my life.
To my big surprise, I realized that most of those stories were pretty old.
I was young (still am) and made mistakes (still do). But I’m quite sure I won’t make the same mistakes again. I regretted them, learnt from them and moved on.
So I forgave myself.
It feels like my ceiling is repaired. The bucket is empty. I’m no longer carrying a load.
Of course, new cracks and holes will appear. But hey, one by one, I can take them!
And I sincerely wish for you, to feel as light as I do now.
Love, F.
PS: You best do this 3rd exercise out loud. If you do it silently, the mind wanders.
My neighbour across must think I’m a complete nutcase by the way 🙂 I know better!
PPS: Thank you, ame, for your wisdom and eternal support. You wrote this one 😉
We all believe stress causes illness. But why do we believe that? Ever thought about it?
Here’s an explanation.
If you picture yourself eating a lemon, you instantly produce saliva.
So you can see, that with every emotion you feel, something happens to your body.
That’s what osteopaths and acupuncturists do. They take away knots to get the energy flowing again. (Bless them 🙂 Very helpful)
I’ll give you an example. Take our youngest kids. They can’t communicate that well.
Often they try to explain something to us. But we, with all the good will in the world, just don’t get what they want.
Imagine you ask your boss the afternoon off. And he’s all like “What did you say? Sorry, don’t understand. Can’t hear you. Nope. Still can’t hear you.” Followed by “Oh that reminds me, can you bring me that report by 4PM please, I need it urgently…”
And there you are. Feeling rather frustrated. As if you were invisible.
So sometimes, we too, ignore our kid’s demand. Because we don’t understand. We tell him to go play. Or seduce him with something to eat (works nicely when you’re in a hurry :))
Children live in The Now*, so they quickly forget. But only for a while. It’ll cath up with them. And even if they can’t tell us how they feel, the signs of their anger, fear, sadness and pain, are showing.
At first they cry. That’s just a warning that we don’t get what they want (or don’t give in).
Then, if they aren’t capable of dealing with their emotions, they might start having issues with their intestins. Constipation means they hold it all inside. Diarrhea means they blurt it out, but no one listens.
And if they still accumulate negative thoughts, they start to boil inside… They get a fever.
I can see how this is a pretty difficult one to accept. So I’ll try to explain it a bit better.
Ever noticed that sometimes you can’t find a reason why your kid has a fever? He’s not sick, no tooth starting to appear, nothing. Well, when having a fever your kid is simply pissed off. Or very very sad.
And not necessarily because of something you did. He has a life of his own too you know 🙂
If you want you can try this the next time: Ask your kid what’s wrong. And listen to his mumbling. Even if that means you have to be extremely patient. There’s a big chance the temperature will go down after a while!
Of course, he stays responsible for handling his own feelings. You can’t make it all better for him. You can only do your utmost best to be there and help him find his way in this life.
And stay the parent. That’s your role. I’m certainly not saying that when he’s got a fever you have to give him everything he wants. Those little monsters are pretty smart 🙂
But you do have to explain to him why he can’t have it. And then let him sob over it…
Inspiration: Jacques Martel – Le grand dictionnaire des malaises et maladies
* If you haven’t read it yet, I posted another piece about “The Now”
The universe has laws.
And just like here on earth, if we don’t respect the law, we get stuck.
The only difference between the earth and the universe is that on earth you can (try to) mislead the law. In the universe you can’t.
One of my favorite laws is the one of Giving and Receiving.
When one person gives, another person receives. Giving, is the universal currency. It has to flow… Look at it like a toilet. If you don’t flush it, the toilet gets clogged. And with it you too. Because after a while you can’t eat anymore by fear of visiting that toilet 🙂
Ground rule number one: Give what you would like to receive.
If it’s joy, give joy. If it’s love, give love. And so on. Wisdom for wisdom, appreciation for appreciation, compliments for compliments…
And yes, in case you were wondering, also money for money!
The more you give, the more you get. Which will give you even more to give (and to get).
So here’s a thought: Give a little something to every person you meet. A smile, a flower, a compliment, an interesting article, a useful tip…
And if you can’t think of anything to give because you don’t really like the person in front of you. Send him a positive thought. Like “I wish you are happy”. Or if that’s too far out there, try “I wish you have a good day today”.
Ground rule number two: Accept what people offer you. With a thank you and a smile 🙂
Don’t think you are being polite by not accepting that cookie or cup of tea because you feel afraid the person doesn’t really want to share it with you.
No. Just take it. And enjoy it – IF you like cookies that is 🙂
Little footnote: Don’t expect to receive from the ones you give to. It might come back to you in a very unexpected way.
Life’s full of surprises.
Inspiration: Deepak Chopra – The seven spiritual laws of success
“I used to be a schizophrenic. But we’re ok now :)”
Did you ever notice those two little voices inside you?
A tiny little angel and devil. Sitting on your shoulders. Poking each other.
They’re not just cartoon material. But very real indeed.
The little devil
Name: Your Ego
Home address: Inside your head
Thoughts: A whole lot. It never shuts its yap. It tells you that you’re too fat, too stupid or too slow. That the grass is always greener on the other side. That you are better than this person, or less than that person. That you do want to steal, lie and/or cheat. Because why wouldn’t you. Everyone else does!
Hobbies: It loves to change its mind to make you feel miserable. Whenever you finally think you’re sure of something… You’re not anymore.
The little angel
Name: Your Inner Voice
Home address: Inside your heart
Thoughts: Not that many, only what counts. This voice knows you and your whole existence. Your past, present and future. So it mostly gives you guiding answers to your questions. And it always gives you a good feeling about yourself.
Hobbies: It likes to encourage you to create the life you initially signed up for 😉 It wants to lead you straight to pure love and happiness.
So I say “Death to the ego!” Kill it by ignoring all of the thoughts you feel inside your head.
“Listen to your heart” actually means something, guys. It’s not just some lame lover’s talk.
Not convinced yet? Maybe this will help.
Your heart doesn’t talk non stop like your head does. After a couple of days, you’ll start to experience “The Silence”. Not a single thought that crosses your mind.
Just peace… and quiet.
Lovely.
Let’s take a trip to 563 BC.
A little prince is born.
Gautama “he who achieves his aim” Siddhartha.
Son of Suddhodana. A righteous king. He and his Shakya people live in southern Nepal and northern India.
Gautama’s mother, queen Maha Maya, dies shortly after giving birth.
His father keeps him hidden like a treasure. Because he wants to spare him from the pain and misery in the world.
One day, Gautama travels from one palace to another and sees an old man.
A shocking sight to him. He finds out people age and their bodies let them down.
So he starts taking more trips and also sees an ill man, and a diseased person.
He decides to quit the palace and start a religious queeste to overcome ageing, sickness and death.
After a couple of years of priving him from almost everything except for a daily leaf or nut for dinner, he collapses. He’s 35 years old and hasn’t got the answer yet.
He decides to empty his mind and meditate, sitting under a fig tree. He vows that he will not move until he finds out the truth.
Luckily for him, after meditating for 49 days in a row, he finally reaches enlightenment.
He knows what it’s all about, life. And one of his great insights, is something like this:
Often we feel unhappy because we want stuff we don’t have.
In that case we have two options.
Either we get what we want. But surely we’ll want something else after that.
Or: We simply stop wanting it.
Pretty smart.
His followers call him the buddha, the enlightened one.
The guy with the weird little dotted hat and the awfully long ear lobes.
So whenever you’re in need of something. Try considering not to need it so much. You might make life a lot easier on yourself 😉
My child is perfect. I’m sure you’ll agree with me.
As I will with you. Because of course your child is perfect too.
And I don’t know about yours, but every now and then; mine, just acts like a little brat.
The so called asking for negative attention.
The thing is, that our child probably asked for positive attention at first.
And didn’t get it.
So when a child starts to act out. Emptying the trash, drawing on walls or eating sand.
The only thing he wants, is for you to get mad. Oh yes, he’s bringin’ it on.
Then he’s got your undivided attention. You, all to himself.
Let’s call it love 🙂
We try to notice positive behavior. Reward it with a round of applause. Or a hug and a “You’re the best kid ever” (and so on. We have more of that excellent stuff ;))
And we try very hard to ignore negative behavior. Because it’s a lot less fun if you eat sand and no one cares. When and how do you stop you ask yourself 🙂
Of course, it happens that doesn’t work. No other choice than to punish.
One rule though. Do as you promised.
If you threatened to give him nothing but a raw egg for breakfast, then simply do so.
The next morning, you’ll dress a nice breakfast table.
And you quietly observe the look upon your child’s face when he notices The Egg.
A little dot of parsley floating on top of it and a crust of bread on the side. To dip and sip 🙂
Of course he won’t eat it, don’t expect that. You’re not evil.
Just be the loving parent you are, even if he protests. Keep calm and keep on smiling.
Hopefully, the lesson will stay with him the rest of his life.
And besides that, this little scheme hás to work. Or all is lost 🙂
Inspiration: My dear dear daddy, who knows what it takes to be a good parent.
A dear friend of mine asked me this question:
“You’re walking. And your feet are covered in blisters. What are you thinking about?
About your feet, aching at every step you take? Or about the beautiful landscape that surrounds you?”
Spontaneously I answered: “About my feet.”
And his reaction was: “Well then that’s a damn shame”
Sometimes we wonder what the purpose of our life is.
A lot of people come to the conclusion that the purpose of life is to enjoy it.
And of course we do enjoy it. Often.
“Tomorrow, because then we’ll meet friends”. “In a couple of weeks, because then we’re on a holiday”. Or even better: “Should’ve enjoyed it yesterday, but we had a fight. And everything went down the drain”
I guess you know what I’m getting at.
Enjoying life isn’t something you book in your agenda. You should enjoy it always, every instant. Now.
Now!
Of course, that’s not easy. Because our mind is constantly filled with all sorts of thoughts.
But if you do succeed in staying focused on the exact task you’re doing at that particular moment. It’s so worth your while.
Because suddenly you’re no longer thinking about that pile of work waiting for you.
Only about the shoelaces you’re tying.
You’ll feel calm, and neat. You might even feel proud about the beautiful knot you make 🙂
Right now, the pile of work waiting for you, is of no importance whatsoever.
Lightworking 